4.27.2009

Transcendent Man Movie

Hi. It's Joe.

This looks really interesting.



As long as I still get my coffee, I don't care if the universe wakes up or not.

Speaking of which...I need one. Anyone?

4.26.2009

Zombies

Hi. It's Joe.

I found the makers of this zombie book and film via twitter.

Looks interesting. I said I would submit music for the soundtrack. We'll see what they say.

4.24.2009

This is Kickass!

Hi. It's Joe.

You almost wouldn't want to drink these...



Almost.

But you would.

And so would I. So buy me a coffee?

More coffee art?

4.22.2009

Possibly the Gayest Video Ever

Hi. It's Joe.

As long as we are on this theme...



This actually hurts me in my guts. I think I need coffee. Anyone?

4.21.2009

Gay Marriage Will Save the Economy (Starring Jack Black as Jesus)

This is remarkably good. Jack Black and Doogie Howser? Oh yes.



If you liked this video, please buy me a cup of coffee. I am very sleepy and I have class tonight for 3 hours.

4.17.2009

Performing at Coffee Shoppes

When I am not playing badass bass and fronting vocals for THE GUPPY EFFECT BAND, I am a mild mannered acoustic singer/songwriter who performs frequently in coffee shoppes. You KNOW I love coffee! But music is my harsh mistress.

Anyway, I am cruising out to Ames, IA this weekend to perform solo at the Cafe Milo coffee shoppe. This is awesome because I just scored two nice Violet Black Knight Studio Mics and I am going to use them to record the show, or at least a few songs. These are one of the best microphones for live acoustic music. They kind of have a vintage microphone look, but they are very modern. These are also a great microphone for home recording studios, because they are fairly inexpensive ($400 or so, and you can find deals easily, like I did).

These sweet babies are designed for acoustic guitar and vocals. They have a nice little frequency hump right in the middle of the vocal spectrum. I am so geeked to record this show I could soil myself.

This trip has a double feature though. I am also going to be picking up a new used Washburn 5-string bass, which will become my new axe in THE GUPPY EFFECT. I sold two old basses a couple weeks ago, and so I will be using the cash toward the new bass.

We are going to have soooo much fun this weekend.

ROAD TRIP SPONSOR

Home Brew Kegs of Beer (Not Coffee)

Hi. It's Joe.

Yes, I realize this one is about BEER.

Specifically, recipes for HOME BREWING BEER.

I used to pursue this hobby back when I drank beer. It was a cheap way to get good (a relative term in college) beer in quantities necessary to fuel a college lifestyle.

I don't drink anymore. But I still have a lot of friends who are quite good HOME BREWERS. I never had the patience to follow recipes very closely. But maybe if I had had THIS BOOK, I would have...

THIS BOOK has 641 different HOME BREW BEER recipes, most of them emulating existing beers. And it's decently priced too. CHECK IT OUT.

4.16.2009

Coffee Shoppe and Espresso Cafe Mistakes

If you own, or are thinking of owning, a coffee shoppe or espresso cafe, CHECK OUT THIS E-BOOK on common business mistakes and how to avoid them.

It covers:
1. The value of writing a business plan (it’s not what you think)
2. How much effort to put into your financial projections
3. The stinking local government agencies and how they can foil a legitimate and well intentioned – and HELPFUL service to your customers
4. What you should and shouldn't expect from your suppliers
5. What type of equipment you should and shouldn’t buy
6. 1 tip - that had we done it - would have saved us over $40,000
7. Who is your real competition? Hint: It’s not who you think!
8. 10 industry and trade web sites that will save you dozens of hours to find key suppliers, marketing ideas, conventions and trade shows.
9. The best ways to find local and national suppliers
10. The single item you need to lower your Liability Insurance premium by as much as 40%, saving you as much as $4,800 per year.


THIS BOOK includes recipes, and tried and true checklists and forms for being a successful coffee shoppe business.

If you use commercial coffee makers like the Spacemaker coffee maker or the Capresso coffee maker, then you are serious about the coffee shoppe business and THIS BOOK is for you!

4.13.2009

Twisting (-ed)

Hi. It's Joe.

Weird as this is, I was completely transfixed.



There is something Freudian about the cigarettes at the end. Like these chicks are really getting off on simple choreographed booty shaking.

If that wasn't enough for you, try this...

Celebrity IQs

Hi. It's Joe.

So if the banner ads I sometimes see are to be believed, then Britney Spears has an IQ of 105, about 10 points higher than George W. Bush.

I never click on those banners, because I am confident I "can beat that." It should be some indication of my IQ that I don't fall for those kinds of marketing tactics. Even so, 105 seems high to me. But when you think about it, that's only a tad above average. And Britney Spears exemplifies all that is "average" in America. By that I not only refer to the rampant mediocrity of popular music, but also the appeal of such music to the lowest common denominator.

In essence, when you think of a bell curve...




...that which appeals to the greatest number of people (aptly called "Same as Others" in the graph) is going to sell the best.

Britney Spears' success is a result of being great at being really pretty close to average for women who want to be bimbo's and the men who desire them. So I guess I can accept her having an IQ of 105. I am still a little angstful about George W's 95 IQ score though. I realize he was elected for the same reason, appeal to the popular AVERAGE with commensurate mediocrity. It scares me a bit though. Even retrospectively.

4.12.2009

Tesla Coils Rule!

This is trippy...

I suppose you don't need any coffee when this is your hobby!

4.04.2009

Open vs. Closed Mindedness

Always be inqusitive and skeptical.

This is a fairly simple demonstration about the value of critical thinking.

4.03.2009

This SHAMWOW Sucks!

Always field test a product before selling it.

Is Your Metal Heavy?

How heavy is your metal?

Is it this heavy?

A Garage Sale So Big...

Hi. It's Joe.

Thanks to all the Caffeinators who have kept me going these last few days. Quitting my job to start MY OWN BUSINESS is quite a lot of work, and keeps me up pretty late at night. But I sure do love WORKING FOR MYSELF and being totally responsible for my own destiny. Not everyone can do this. But I can, and it is awesome.

If anyone is interested in jumping off the cliff into successful making a living without a job, I transcendently recommend one or more of the following books:



These books contain everything THE MAN does not want you to know about how to successfully shrug off the yolk of lifetime wage slavery, and profitably pursue your dreams. They are all available at the PUBLIC LIBRARY, if you are unemployed and trying to save money. Especially "What Color Is Your Parachute?" because that is revised annually, and usually you only need to read a chapter or two. But personally, all these books are must haves for my reference library.

Don't take my word for it. I work for myself now, so not to be a dick but I don't care that much about your life and the choices you make. Everyone is responsible for their own destiny, with or without JESUS.

Speaking of making money, my girlfriend is hosting a HUGE GARAGE SALE in Lake Mills, WI this weekend. It is going to be so big that I will actually have my own "BOOTH" to sell stuff. E-MAIL ME for location. I will be selling ONE OF MY BASSES, as well as a YOGA kit and a whole bunch of rock-n-roll t-shirts for just $2 each.

Have a wondrous day, and please...BUY ME A COFFEE!

Joe

4.02.2009

God: Before and After



I originally posted this on THE ATHEIST BLOG, but it is funny as HELL.

Coffee Shoppe Barter

Hi. It's Joe.

Just a quick post. This is my first day of SELF-EMPLOYMENT and I'm busily organizing my HOME OFFICE.

In about 30 minutes I am heading to the COFFEE SHOPPE in Whitewater, WI where I will be hosting OPEN MIC tonight at 7 pm. The reason I am going so early is that I am giving a guitar lesson to a guy at noon. In exchange, the guy is going to offer me his expertise on developing a business plan.

Barter is a good system. It keeps the IRS uninvolved in the transactions. I encourage it.

Have a great afternoon.

Joe

A New Dawn

Hi. It's Joe.

Good morning. Yes, it is technically morning. I just noticed that myself. I'm going to bed here in a minute. It's probably obvious that I WILL NEED COFFEE in a few short hours. So feel free to donate.

This is also the first day of my new SELF-EMPLOYED life. I am really excited about that. Even though I will be working 10 times harder now than when I was getting a regular weekly paycheck, I will be my own boss in control of my own destiny. That is a dream come true.

I'm kind of hankering for Yuban Coffee. That's the bulk brand that is supposedly fair trade.

See you in the morning, and I hope someone buys me a coffee.

Joe

4.01.2009

The Coffee Grind

Hi. It's Joe.

Happy April Fool's Day.

It's actually my last day of work for THE MAN. But that doesn't mean a whole lot. Sure, SELF EMPLOYMENT has some perks, like setting my own schedule. But it's actually a heck of a lot harder work running my own BUSINESS than just picking up a weekly paycheck. And while I love hard work (hence my need for COFFEE!), for the next few months I will still be working for THE MAN as well as many other MEN and WOMEN.

So maybe I am a fool. But I am really looking forward to this entrepreneurial venture.

Anyway, I was thinking (which I do better with COFFEE...) about how Search Engine Optimization, otherwise known as SEO, is a lot like learning vocabulary in elementary school.

More precisely, using keywords to attract traffic to your site LEGITIMATELY (i.e., sans SPAM), is kind of like when you had to not only SPELL a vocabulary word, but also use it in a sentence. And it's complicated by the fact that Google keywords are often phrases rather than single words.

For example, using the Google keyword tool, I discovered that the phrase "coffee grind" is a decent optimizing keyword, at least by the standards of Ed Dale and Co.

So I'm going to mention "coffee grind" a couple more times in this post. Maybe even mention how I like to grind coffee from scratch (when I have fresh coffee beans). I also like to drink coffee before, during, and after the daily grind.

Lately, I've been favoring MILLSTONE COFFEE.

If you are generously buying me a cuppa today, please E-MAIL ME any brand recommendations for me.

PEACE!

Joe