5.24.2010

10 Minutes - Hey, That's Pretty Funny... Shaddap!

Hi. It's Joe.

I wish people would mind their own business, or at the very least keep their inner monolog INNER.

I ate a couple of my roommate's microwave popcorns this weekend. The stuff is toxic and I rarely eat it, but it is yummy. Most people who know me know I am a health nut, primarily eating natural whole foods.

But when you eat that stuff all the time, sometimes you just want to treat yourself to tasty nutrition-less junk food. That's what I did, but since I don't buy the stuff myself, I had to bum my roommate's.

Now I am not a mooch. So tonight I went to the 24 hour Sentry grocery store in Fort Atkinson and I picked up a box of three (3) Orville Reddenbacher "Butter" Flavored microwavable popcorns to replace the two (2) I ate. It is my convention to always replace what I borrow with interest paid back. That is just part of the roommate code. I also scored a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for my roommate, because I had eaten some that I found in our shared kitchen and I wasn't sure if it was his or my ex-girlfriend's. She moved out a couple months ago and she left a lot of food behind, including Mac & Che. So I figured I would play it safe and replenish that with a fresh box. For myself, I bought some ice cream, as well as some eggs for breakfast tomorrow.

So when I get to the checkout counter there are two boys and two girls who look like they are maybe in their early 20s in front of me. I didn't bother to look what they were buying, it was none of my damn business. I just assumed it was beer.

I start loading my groceries on the conveyor and one of the boys says to his friends in a loud whisper, referring to my stuff, "Somebody has the munchies!"

"No genius. I HAD the munchies. Now shaddap and mind your own business," is what I said in MY inner monolog, because I keep my inner monolog inner. That way I don't sound like a jackass in front of other people. Try it some time.

Now, I know you were trying to be a smart ass in front of your female friends. They were attractive girls. But when your life is one long beer pong festival, please don't try to build yourself up by putting other people down.

I am and always will be your superior. You are the stoners with the bleak economic futures, so put a sock in it, OK?

Time.

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