4.14.2013

10 Minutes - Be Yourself and Have Fun

Hi. It's Joe.

I am no self help lifestyle coach by any means, but when I look around, it seems to me that the happiest people are the ones who be themselves and have fun. I guess it is kind of hard to determine if someone is really being him- or herself. But all that really matters is that the person feels like they are being who they really are and not trying to be who other people expect them to be. The indicator of this is your comfort level.

People are most comfortable when they can be their true self and least comfortable when they have to put on a facade for whatever reason. Have you ever hung out with a group of people that aren't like you? You feel uncomfortable and out of place, especially if they seem judgmental. But that's OK. Don't try to be more like them and fit in. These are not people you are going to hang out with very often.

Sometimes a person can feel most comfortable when he or she is putting on a facade. For example, when I rock with my bands, I have a rockstar alter ego. I am nothing like my rockstar alter ego in real life. I am generally pretty mellow and quiet. But the rockstar mantle allows me to conceal my inner self when I am on stage. People see the exterior rock star persona and that is what they should see and what I want them to see, because they are there to have a blast and my normal every day self is not much of an entertainer. So when I am on stage, my normal self would feel quite uncomfortable, but my rockstar alter ego feels right at home.

I work for a company where some of my coworkers are very unlike me. Some are like me, but on occasion I have to associate with the ones who are not like me and who make me feel uncomfortable. But I never try to be like them. I just observe them and contemplate why we are so different. I am most comfortable at work with my team of peeps who are like me and who I feel comfy around. I am also most comfortable listening to punk rock at work to block out the people who I do not feel comfortable around.

I avoid social events with the people I don't relate to. Our manager tries to force compliance in our group by making everyone go to social events. But all that does is augment the awkward discomfort and make us think about it more. The most rational approach is to avoid such socials and let groups avoid each other if they will never be on the same page. I can work with these people just fine. There's a corporate vision and explicit goals, so we just go after them. At no time is there a requirement to like or relate to coworkers. You just have to get the job done. When coworkers work hard and uphold their end of that bargain, everything works great.

Time.

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