12.23.2014

Christmas

In a couple of days, the miserable commercialism of Christmas will be behind me. I will once again be able to go to shoppes without encumbrance by mad mindless zombie hordes.

Today was the worst possible day I could choose to go to CostCo for a few essential items, but they could not wait. It is Christmas Eve Eve (yes, two days before Christmas Day) and literally EVERYONE was out doing their last minute shopping, primarily for food and drink, it looked like, for all the Christmas parties and family gatherings. Many shoppes probably close early on Christmas Eve, so I assume everyone was hurrying to get last minute items.

It wasn’t actually as bad as I thought. I found decent parking in the CostCo lot and once in the store I was able to navigate my shopping cart around the oblivious and slow people to get what I needed. If you care, I needed a big bag of grain free dog food, some almond milk, and an HDMI cable (because Sherry is coming over tonight to watch a DVD she gave me for Christmas, called WARM BODIES…a horror comedy). I also got some bison burger, a big tub of ground coffee, and some avocado oil, because it was cheap.

There was a woman at the checkout who took forever to write a personal check. I mean, come on, fill that shite out ahead of time to speed things up. I take pride in moving through a line zippety doo dah fast. I have my ducks in a row and I pound it out. Three steps:

1. Remove CostCo card and cash or debit card from wallet while waiting in line.
2. Hand CostCo card to checkout staff when it is my turn.
3. Pay and leave fast.

It’s so simple, but most people don’t get it. I am the same way in the security line at the airport. I put everything in my carryon bag while I am in the line. EVERYTHING. When I get to the conveyor and metal detector, I put the bag on the conveyor, slip off my slippers, and put them in a tray (yes, always wear slippers on a plane…not only quick on/off at security but comfortable during flight as well). Boom. Done. There’s always a guy with 8 million electronic gadgets and combat boots that need to be unlaced. No.

After CostCo, I went home to drop off the goods. That’s when I really encountered the bad side effect of Christmas – TRAFFIC. Everyone was out doing their last minute shopping.


Still, my Christmas season was relatively peaceful and free of commercialism this year. My holiday season ended on December 10, when my family returned from an extended trip to Australia. We wisely decided to celebrate the holidays with a big international trip and I think it should become an annual tradition. Christmas should really be about spending time with friends and family, not gifts. We shared the experience and all contributed to expenses as best we could. It was fantastic.

It is nice to be able to disenfranchise Christmas proper this year. I did send my sister an AMAZON GIFT CARD, but it was really for her birthday and Christmas combined. She sent me a cool fleece jacket, and even though she shouldn’t have, it is very nice. Thanks sis!

After Christmas is over and done, there is only New Year’s Eve to contend with, but this is a much less stressful time. The commercialism is replaced by consumerism, mostly alcohol consumption, and my stock in beer companies should skyrocket as a result. My band EDDIE ATE DYNAMITE is contributing music to a NYE celebration at the Frequency in Madison WI. I will undoubtedly offer my services as a designated driver for friends, though I doubt anyone will take me up on it.

Yesterday was the shortest day of the year, so more optimism there, because now the days will gradually start to get longer and longer. The descent into winter is over and the ascent begins now, even if January and February are the worst winter months in Wisconsin. January is tolerable because it is my birthday month (January 9) and I usually rock-n-roll on my birthday weekend (this time it will be on January 10, in Kenosha WI, rocking with EDDIE ATE DYNAMITE). February is tolerable because it is February Album Writing Month, when I can stay indoors and write songs with or without collaborators.

By March 21, the rate of change in the length of the day will be at its maximum, just like the tide moves in or out at its maximum speed when it is about half way in or out. Then the worst will be over.

Anyway, that’s my Christmas post. I hope you have a good one, dear reader.

Ciao!

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