1.05.2017

Analogification

Author's Note: Deborah had the smart idea that I should put a disclaimer at the top of any posts I publish during my fortnight of fasting from social media reminding people that although these posts are automatically pushed out to the various social media for your convenience, I'm not actually connected to social media per se. Consider that disclaimed.

I had this thought today: My locker at the gym has better security than my email provider. This is partly because my email provider is Yahoo, but mostly because there is no substitute for a good old fashioned analog combination padlock. Sure, someone with bolt cutters or enough time on their hands could probably bust into my locker, if they had reason to (though much like my email, it contains mostly useless junk). But they'd probably have an even easier time breaking into my subsequently stolen smart phone once they retrieved it from my gym bag. The only keys they'd find would be for my bike lock, since I seldom drive my car to the gym. If they did find my car keys, they would also get my house key, but they would be directed to the wrong house, since my driver's license has my old address. If they got my credit card, they might be able to use it a few times, but the signature line on the back says CHECK ID (an analog credit card security hack anyone can use, fyi). The gym even has a sort of two factor authentication because you have to be a member with a key pass to even get in the front door at the place, much less bust into someone's locker. And to do that en masse would be astronomically improbable. I am way more confident in my gym locker's security than in my Internet security, and that's not even counting what we now know about the NSA freely snooping our electronic presence online (thanks Ed Snowden...ignorance WAS bliss). I hope you put electrical tape over your computer's on board camera (though they can still hear you).

I am seriously toying with the idea of reverting to a largely analog lifestyle, even as my partner Deborah toys with her brand new Apple watch that is further assimilating her into the GIANT INTERNET BRAIN. I wonder how hard that would be to do. I'm already four days into a thus far successful social media fast. I haven't been on Facebook (or Twitter...but I was never much of a Twit) since before the new year. I don't miss it at all and I am sure no one misses my presence there either. I'd wager 95% of my so called "friends" on social media aren't even aware that I'm fasting from it. When my blogs autopost to Facebook, I am certain they are glossed over in favor of the "meme of the moment" or some deep thought attributed to Morgan Freeman. And that's fine. Everybody has to live their own life. My choice to fast from social media affects no one. While it's true that it prohibits me from sharing my rock-n-roll music events with my "friends," the influence of such promotion has been historically low (with the exception of a rare house concert or birthday party show). I'd say the effectiveness of sharing events via social media lies between about zero and epsilon, where epsilon is a number negligibly larger than zero, and probably closer to the zero end of that very short continuum.


If I were to go totes analog, I'd have to abandon my smart phone and get a landline, and correspond with folks via snail mail. That'd be the electronic equivalent of going vegan...pretty tough to do. Instead, I think I can successfully just go ovo-lacto-pesco-vegetarian, without to much difficulty, or to put the analogy in electronic terms, I will keep my smart phone and use it for calls, messages, emails, and online research necessary for my writing and music, but cut out the social media (let's call Facebook red meat and Twitter chicken, to just push the analogy right over the cliff and onto the rocks far below). The fish (pesco) can represent my blogs and their automated appearance on social media without my active involvement. I enjoy corresponding with people by good old fashioned pen and paper, and I do so occasionally, most often with my buddy Bryon out in Iowa (which reminds me...I should write him). I'd love to receive a hand written letter from you, dear reader, though I realize that may be as arcane to you as fly fishing is to modern day anglers (tying it back to the fish analogy).

Speaking of birthdays, if you are still reading this (and God I hope you aren't), I am having one soon and you're invited to the party. It's this Saturday January 7th at the infamous Come Back Inn bar and grill, and hosted by YOUR MOM, the infamous local rock band. 9 PM until late. Free admish, free parking, free balling, free everything (except booze and food...that's not my department...but I honestly don't recommend eating the Come Back's food anyway).

Music is one area of my life that I have always kept pretty analog, even in this age of auto-tuning and beat correcting and MIDI. I won't lie to you, a big part of that is pure laziness. I don't want to relearn how to create music with all that high tech shite. I plug in my bass or guitar and I produce notes that sometimes sound pretty good. I don't even use pedals very often. I do use digital tools for recording my analog sounds. That's just convenience and economics. Doing all my recording and production on a Mac laptop with Logic DAW installed is a heck of a lot simpler, smaller, and cheaper than would be a huge analog mixing board and an acoustically optimized studio space. I just mic things close or direct line in and use the digital effects and sound simulators that the smarty pants brainy techy people at Apple put together. Thanks big head Apple people!

Well, I yacked long enough. Leave a comment or a question below (not on whatever social media site by which you found the link to this post, since as I said, I am not accessing social media at this time, only you are).

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