Mapquest is Pretty @#$%ing Cool

Hi. It's Joe.

Did you ever stop to think about how kickass MAPQUEST is (and GOOGLE MAPS, YAHOO MAPS, RAND McNALLY, etc.).

I mean, basically you can figure out how to get just about anyplace worth getting to.

Early hunter-gatherer peoples would have considered this "magic." And also probably superfluous given their limited transportational means.

But I recently saw this picture of !Kung bushmen in the African Kalahari using GPS to track game.

Anyway, even my mind is boggled by the mapping technologies available to me on my laptop. Who needs video games when you can spend your time plotting the most direct route to get somewhere.

What was that Stephen King story where the people keep trying to find the shortest path between two towns and accidentally stumble on a space/time portal that literally shortens the distance to shorter than the crow flies?

If you remember the title, please comment below.



Jack Black Video Game Ass Kicker

Hi. It's Joe.

Only Jack Black could make a video game look this cool and want to make me zombify my mind playing video games all day long.


Man Drinks Ipecac for Cash...but it gets worse...much, much worse...

Hi. It's Joe.

This is a little bit disturbing, but more than earns me a complimentary coffee I would say.

Name your price. Shatner would be proud.


Acorn Hookers

Hi. It's Joe.

Do you know the backstory on this?

Neither do I.


Psycho Kid

Hi. It's Joe.

This kid needs a hefty dose of PROZAC!!!

Can anyone say "future mass murderer?"

You know Dr. Phil loves every single sensationalistic second of it too. Ratings!

But I will take a coffee. Thank you!

A Perpetual Motion Electric Generator - Free Energy or Laws of Physics?

Hi. It's Joe.

If you are looking for a free energy perpetual motion machine, you should read the below. There is no such thing as a perpetual motion machine. The LAWS OF PHYSICS do not allow it.

These people are selling a DIY guide to build an electric generator that claims to be a perpetual motion machine providing FREE ENERGY and it can serve as a functional home generator. But that isn't what is so crazy about this power generator. It's the YouTube video they use in their marketing campaign to convince you to buy the HOW TO product:

Seriously? Using conspiracy theories and your fear of THE MAN to sell a home energy generation product that is sketchy at best, not to mention you have to BUILD THIS POWER GENERATOR YOURSELF...

What a bizarre thing to try and legitimately market!

Laws of physics notwithstanding, you can buy this guide that will tell you how to build your own perpetual motion machine that can replace portable generators as an energy source, and that is totally free forever and always.

It is not a diesel generator or a wind generator or even a solar generator.

It is an electrical generator that uses magnets. They might as well try to sell an electric generator powered by gerbils running on an exercise wheel. Do people seriously believe this stuff? Has scientific literacy completely disappeared?

This purportedly portable generator doesn't seem very portable by the looks of it. A small diesel generator is probably a better idea and saves more money. For about 3 grand, you can get a pretty decent PORTABLE NATURAL GAS GENERATOR.

Save your money...buy me a coffee instead.


Joe's Coffee - Transcending

Hi. It's Joe.

I was messing around with the Google keyword tool, and discovered that the phrase "joes coffee" is a decent keyword for optimizing this blog in search engines. It gets about 2,900 searches globally every month and there are only 18,600 unique web pages that cite it, according to Google. It also bids $1.77 on average in Adsense, so by using "joes coffee" in this post, I ought to get some decently paying Adsense ads up top. Have a look and then comment on what you see.

Since this blog is called Joe's Coffee Fix, maybe this post will also improve my search rankings and bring more traffic, even if it is junk traffic. This is sort of a test. Buy me a coffee?

Maybe people will share this post virally as an example of how to improve keyword optimization of a blog really simply using the Google keyword tool. I know most traffic will be junk, but that's part of the whole experiment.

"Bean espresso" is also a good keyword phrase for optimizing. I once had a girlfriend berate me for saying "exspresso" instead of "espresso" because I included an X in my pronunciation of it.

Joe's Coffee Fix thanks you for visiting. Especially if you bought Joe a cup o' joe.

Joe (s coffee)