30 Minutes - SpongeBob HempPants

Hi. It's Joe.

Because I am such a prolific and talented writer, I've decided that my current strategy with regard to search engine optimization (yawn!) is to simply get as many blog posts published on the Web as possible, and hope that statistically Google likes a few of them.

One approach I have for this is to visit Amazon and seek out random topics. Today's topic is SpongeBob SquarePants. Why? I don't know. That is where my somewhat random perusal of Amazon led me.

I've always been somewhat intrigued and put off at the same time by SpongeBob SquarePants. He's a sponge named Bob, and his pants are square (presumably, because sponges are square and he's a sponge). Whoever came up with this concept for a cartoon character is at once genius and insane.

They are genius because they were able to market the most bizarre concept to the general public. They are insane because, well, it's a sponge that wears square pants.

I should probably embrace the idea of SpongeBob SquarePants, but I can't.

Conversely, I can embrace the idea of SpongeBob HempPants. I have no idea what it is, but I like the sound of it. It sounds unconventional, almost like a backlash against the generic SpongeBob SquarePants, or at the very least his dope-smoking friend. Oddly, the keyword phrase "spongebob hemppants" gets a decent amount of traffic each day, and competition is weak. So this post ought to get a few hits.

Speaking of dope-smoking, I went to hear PEOPLE BROTHERS BAND last night. They sounded pretty good, and I jumped up for three (3) songs. The draw at the bar was excellent. The guy who books bands at Mr. Roberts is a cock smoker, I found out. I was asking him about booking GUPPY EFFECT there and he told me Mr. Roberts is all about the MONEY now, not the music. He indicated that he thought GUPPY EFFECT did not have a good draw at Mr. Roberts, but that was B.S. We had decent nights. It's just that we don't suck, and he knows it and is jealous. We also aren't as much of a jam band as he'd like. This guy can afford to be an arrogant a-hole because he is good at what he does. But he is still an a-hole and has no friends. Now that he has burned a bridge with me, he will find no sympathy when he needs GUPPY EFFECT's rock-n-roll super powers.

Well, I could lambast the guy all day, but I have better things to do. GUPPY EFFECT has been tearing it up. We are playing a sold out show at Carps Landing in Lake Mills on February 11 with another band, ToEleven (cuz the date is 2/11). We have a bunch of new songs, and my guitar player Stefan reckons we have over six (6) hours of repertoire now. That blows almost every band out of the water. GUPPY EFFECT is a unique band because we don't NEED a-hole music promoters. Music isn't our principle livelihood, so we don't have to sell out, and we can do what we want and tell everyone to fuck off. Guys like the booking agent at Mr. Roberts will struggle their whole lives to make a living while trying to be successful at music, and they will waste a lot of energy that way. Whereas, we of GUPPY EFFECT can live comfortably and focus on our art and creativity. For us, there's no down side.

The goal this year is to spread the good word of GUPPY EFFECT far and wide, by whatever means necessary. We aren't in this to make money. We are in it to make great rock-n-roll that people loves and other bands envy. I'm becoming a kickass singer and songwriter, and the people that hear my music and my band LOVE it. They are hooked. We just need to get more people hooked.

I rehearsed with BABY ROCKET today, for the revamping of that fun cover band. We are going to play A Ha's "Take On Me" and also a medley of songs that include:

1. "Suzie Q" by CCR
2. "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Aeroplane
3. "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred

I am a much better writer in the morning, and I have on my calendar this week to do my 10 minutes of free writing in the morning when my mind is fresh. It should be a lot better than this sad pathetic excuse for a blog post. But if you are still reading at this point, I thank you.


This is where I do my shameless back links. If you remember, I said I was going to try and be better about back linking this year. I am going to have hundreds of blog posts out on the web by the end of the year, and that means hundreds of back links, which google simply adores.

My main back links are the make your own business cards one and the gentle leader head collar for dogs one.

But I think three (3) is the magic number, so I am also going to include an internal back link to a prior post on this blog, maybe from the previous day or so. I suspect Google will like this. I think I am going to back link here to my COUCH CONCERT performance of "Most Beautiful Girl in the Room" by Flight of the Conchords. I didn't research that keyword phrase for relevance and strength, but I want to let Google decide.

I will always put back links after the end of my daily blog posts. That way they won't annoy you. They'll be more like commercials you can simply ignore (but Google can't, and won't, or might, but I don't care).

No comments: