I Rescind What I Said About My Bands of Late

I want reality to follow a certain pathway that is highly correlated with my beliefs about how reality should be. By the same token, I sometimes challenge reality to prove me wrong, and in this case reality came through. Unlike most people, I am willing to admit when I am wrong and reality is right. In fact, I might be the only human being capable of this, but I challenge reality to prove me wrong on that too.

Recently, I have been griping about how my band never practices and thus lacks momentum and thus doesn't get better and learn new material. This is only 50% correct. While it is true, almost by definition, that not practicing precludes the learning of new material, it is not, as it turns out, true that not practicing makes the band not get better. I realize there are a lot of double negatives there, so let me be direct.

HIATVS, one of my bands, came up with our name for a totally different reason than the fact that we rarely practice, even though the latter is true in retrospect. My guitarist buddy Brian was in a different band than me at the time. His drummer told him that he "needed a hiatus" from rocking at about the same time that my guitar player in GUPPY EFFECT told me that he "needed a hiatus" from rocking for whatever reason.

In rock-n-roll parlance, a "hiatus" is really just a polite word for saying you just aren't really into it, and it is essentially the same as "I quit." It's actually the band equivalent of when a woman you have been dating says, "I think we should just be friends." What she really means is, "this sucks and I want to go do something else." It's the same with bands, and once you are able to interpret the hidden meaning, it's all good. The woman does not really want to be friends and the musician does not really have any intention of ever rocking with you again. However, there is breakup sex in both cases. For example, GUPPY EFFECT still reunites for occasional shows, even though we are not technically a band anymore.

As an aside, I find it difficult to embrace the idea that any musician would not want to play in a band that has my sick bass skills fully available. But by the same token, I can't understand why any woman would not want to date me either. It's just one of those things where some people make choices and their beliefs don't correlate with the reality of how awesome their life is with me in it, whether playing bass or putting the shoes to ya.

Bringing it back to the thesis of this post...sometimes a band name takes on additional meanings in the course of the life of the thing. After Brian and I had these band mates go on "hiatus," we were both kind of sans band. Drums and guitar, as it turns out, are fairly critical to a functioning rock-n-roll band, especially one that plays covers.

So Brian and I were at lunch one day, and we were talking about how our bands were both on hiatus because of musicians pursuing other interests. We decided to join forces and so we did, and we called the band HIATVS to pay homage to the prior bands. Well, HIATVS picked up a drummer named John, also a coworker. He liked to rock, but his schedule was not very conducive to regular practices.

Strangely, we discovered that the longer we did NOT practice, the better we were when we finally were able to practice. Basically, the longer the band practice HIATUS, the better we became when we did eventually secure time to practice.

This defies logic and my belief in how a band should be. A band that does not practice for two (2) months should totally suck when they finally get together. But recently, HIATVS had a practice after more than two (2) months of not practicing, and we somehow managed to pull THIS song off, almost effortlessly. It is a cover of "Stinkfist" by Tool. It's almost demo worthy. To the untrained ear, it IS demo worthy.

So my prediction that we might suck at band practice as a result of not practicing was totally false. Granted, we did not add any new material. That's impossible anyway, because our drummer has almost no musical tastes in common with Brian and me. But on the songs we already had down, we were tizzight. It's not logical, but it is true.

So, I must humbly admit being wrong and you will admire me for it, because even though our society views being wrong as a weakness, which is why everyone is full of shit, REALITY waits for no one. You are either "on the bus or off the bus."

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