I had a bat in my house last night. I was in my bed reading a book when this giant brown bat flapped into my room, did a loop and then zoomed out again. Bats in the house give me the willies. They are not shy. So I thought about some ways I could dispose of the beastie without killing it. The idea I came up with was to use a fishing net to try to net it so I could release it outside. So I got my fishing net out, but when I went to find the bat again, he or she had apparently taken repose in a dark hiding spot. I could not find it. Last time I had a bat, it hid under the stereo receiver of my entertainment center. But this time it wasn't there, nor in any of the places that, in my human mind, looked like one a bat would hang out in.

I was about to give up. I knew I would not be able to sleep with that thing flying around my house, but I figured if I closed the door to my room, the bat could fly about downstairs to its little heart's content and I would deal with it in the morning. So I started turning off lights before retiring for what I knew would be restless sleep. I had turned on all the lights to be able to see the thing as it was flying around, to better swipe the fishing net at it. But the light must have sent it into hiding.

As I was turning off the light switch near my front window, I heard a scratching sound behind the blinds, which were down. I knew it had to be my little flying rodential and probably rabid friend. Fishing net in hand, I pulled on the cord to open the blinds and out swooped the bat. He took a cruise through the living room before heading back in my direction, which gave me a couple seconds to prepare.

My first swipe missed, but the rush of air from the fish net mesh must have upset it's aerodynamics, because it sort of stalled out and fell toward the floor. I thought I would have a chance to net it when it hit the ground, but it was a feint. Before it touched the floor, it flapped it's leathery wings and gained altitude again. Surprised by this, I rather haphazardly swiped at it again, but in my panic the wooden edge of the net clipped the bat and this time it hit the floor. It fluttered around but couldn't seem to take flight and I realized I must have broken one of its wings. I felt terrible but now I had a fateful decision to make. I could probably have scooped up the bat in the net as it flopped around, then carried it outside and released it. But if it was mortally wounded that would be cruel and it definitely would not last long with a broken wing. Plus, it was clearly now panicked, emitting audible squeaks like a mouse, which is essentially what a bat is - a mouse with wings. If I tried to capture it now, it might get scared and try to bite. When it comes to rabies, that is a big glass of NOPE, and I did not much relish a late night visit to the ER for rabies testing and treatment. Plus, even if I managed to get it in the net, it might be nearly impossible to free it if it got entangled due to the broken wing.

All these thoughts went through my head in a few milliseconds, and I needed to make a fast decision for the sake of this animal. I am sorry to say, I chose a swift mercy killing. It was my fault for awkwardly swiping at the bat and injuring it. But at that point, any other outcome would have meant prolonged pain and suffering for the creature and possibly for me. So I am sorry my little furry visitor, with all my heart. I felt you would be better off with a quick dispatch. I hope you are in the big dark cave in the sky and agree with my decision.

Otherwise I am in for a whole shitload of bad bat karma here for a while.

On a related note, remember how I said the Law of Averages was going to have to balance my recent spate of good fortune? Well this unfortunate incident was certainly a balancing of the cosmic deck of cards. I drew a bad hand but now at least I probably won't get hit by a bus.


Anonymous said...

Karma is determined by the intentions behind our actions. No "bad" karma will come your way because you acted with "good" intentions. That is all any of us can do when presented with difficult circumstances. You did the right thing. :)

Joseph Leonard said...

Thanks Shara. I hope you are right. Otherwise we burn together in the batcave of hell! MWAHAHAHA.