Preamble: Big Arsed Plane

It appears I will be flying to Melbourne Australia upon an Airbus A380. Thus, one bucket list item - to fly on a proverbial "dreamliner" - can be checked off.

The flight is about to board. My sister, Carl, niece, nephew, and I are all sitting near one another, literally in the belly of this beast, for the flight through "eternal night" that will evaporate Sunday entirely.

I am fully prepared for this marathon of air travel, an almost 16 hour flight, over the Pacific and Indian Oceans. I have a water bottle, walnuts, Benadryl (sleep aid), and great earplugs to neutralize the sound of screaming babies. There are not too many of the latter in the gate waiting area, but even so these demonic cherubims have a way of manifesting during the transit down the jetway.

My sister also has a cache of prescription muscle relaxants when the BIG GUNS need to come out to render us unconscious.

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